According to Facebook urban legend today is a day where people are required by law to leave a comment on my page with the dreaded 13 letter word no one above age 26 wants to hear (Unless you’re a pop star and need that ego boost)
“Happy Birthday” .
Having been on hiatus from FB, i’ll admit curiosity has very much intrigued this cat, so I did log in this morning to see the wishes, and they were from people I expected to hear from, close family, and friends of somewhat closeness.
It always is a two sided coin so of course there’s the other half that don’t wish you, or leave a very fake birthday wish with the generic “hope you have fun” or “have fun tonight’ knowing very well you are probably watching netflix after work on your ipad, even on your birthday whereas on their “special” day you had bought them surprise concert tickets a month in advance. But of course this very person texting “I would have been spending it with you if I didn’t have a family emergency” should make things magically better, because there must have been an excuse for every single month of the 5 months we haven’t had a chance to meet up other than the fact that I didn’t coordinate plans be it buy tickets for a Broadway show, concert, etc.
This year, both age-wise and in the 2015 calendar year I have some realizations for myself that I tend to follow through on this time.
1) Say what you feel (No more bottling things up and being the nice person that gets walked all over, always forgiving and giving others second, third, 5th? chances. I’ll forgive you and after the second chance won’t count on you being there for me, and definitely won’t be there for you.)
2) Get rid of it if it’s not working for you, instead of you making it work. (Be it a friendship, sweater, or two sizes too small Lacoste polo. It may have been worth investing in a few years ago, but at the moment it just is not flattering in any way. Why always be the one to coordinate plans but the other person can’t do the same? If you have to layer another shirt underneath it, why have a polo you can’t wear on it’s own? Less is going to be more in 2015.)
3)Truth and Time tells all. (I may have just quoted Justin Bobby from “The Hills” but that character knew his philosophy. Having been on self initiated hiatus for the past few months I have learned a lot about people around me that I thought were close “friends”, etc. If all the time we spend together is you venting, me being the therapist or supportive friend, where is my end of the share going? Not having to “be there” for everyone else I now have been able to be there for myself, and focus on what I actually want and need. )
4) Stop making excuses for why you need something/someone (If you don’t love it, get rid of it. If your idea of a good friend is someone who will call you at least once every two weeks, don’t settle for someone who calls once a month at their own convenience. If you hate a job, quit. If your sister in law got you a vest you think is hideous, exchange it. Yes this happened recently, lol)
5) Believe in yourself everyday, and if someone else disagrees with a plan you may have/something you want stay away from them. (I had this happen where a “friend” actually discouraged me from taking a really good job which may have been an opportunity I could have prospered from. Ultimately I can’t blame anyone else but myself but it is astounding when you realize how unknowingly certain negative presences and energies can unconsciously affect you. Supportive people are hard to find, but the best things are worth searching for.)
6) Authenticity is irreplaceable. (If it doesn’t feel right, or like something you can stand by 100000% percent don’t agree to it. Be it a personal statement for school, situation, or party you are invited to. If you don’t think you are going to have a good time at a party then don’t go. What’s the point of going just to be polite or make someone else happy?
7) A healthy you is a happy you. (I have been eating non stop junkfood lately- since Turkey Day and my body finally retaliated- was in bed for 4 days last week! Now is the time to give away all that candy and take a few hours each week for yoga/walking.
That’s it for now, any tips, advice kindly can be left in the comments! Happy New Year folks.