Fighting myself

i was enraged& feeling hopeless

but that is exactly

what she

wanted me to be.

she was smothering me

suffocating me

trying to stomp me out

like an unneeded

cigarette.

i did not want to be 

extinguished.

not now

not ever.

i kept my head down as long

as i could, trying not

to look her in the eye.

she was aware of this, and

made sure my eyes met hers.

they were darker than black 

forest cake but without

the sweetness. 

her face had less expressions

than that famous British 

spice girl.

but she had a power over me- a fiercenes.

 she made it her life’s work

to bring out the worst in me-

to hold me down, keep me unhappy,

being that somehow it makes 

her thrive. 

my heart beating faster than a 

nerd at comic con- i did the unthinkable

and cut the cord.

she no longer had me tied up,

i could walk away and do as i

chose.

i could be who I 

wanted. 

so who is this 

archenemy rival of mine?

she is

Me.

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